Through London by bike or by diplomatic car

By Christa von Richthofen

I seem to be one of that new breed, a professional woman and also a diplomat's wife, expected to play her part in a post abroad. In my case this involved giving up, if only temporarily, a lucrative practice in psychotherapy in Germany, affecting possibly my professional status and perhaps even the right to treat the German equivalent of NHS patients. The move abroad and a different way of life usually requires, as I am well aware, more of an adaptation from the professional woman than from other members of her family; she usually loses something basic in her sphere and training which others in her family do not normally have to forego. Whether such a sacrifice is to be recommended or is indeed necessary, every woman will have to decide for herself and her family, also for every posting abroad as for the different stages of her life. As far as I am con-cerned, my London experience shows that it is worthwhile.

The reasons are many and obvious to anyone familiar with life in London. To take my professional activities first, I found, after a great deal of searching around and hesitating, my "niche" in the famous Maudsley, the hospital where behaviourial psychotherapy was first developed and made known. I took a course in a new method of therapy which I am now writing about for a professional journal; hopefully these articles will be made into a book one day. At the same time I see patients from the pool of the Institute of Psychiatry at the Maudsley, working under supervision which I still need in my therapy work and as a member of a team in one of the clinics. I don't get paid but the experience and competence which I gain are invaluable.

I learn more about life in Britain than I probably would in other circumstances. In any public discussion about NHS reform I know from my own experience what it is all about. I am much impressed by the manner in which, at the Maudsley, all patients whether British or foreign are treated as equals and with the same concern and empathy as a matter of course. And when I come across the misery of families caught up in financial difficulties and driven to consult a psychotherapist because their children had to be taken out of a public school and sent to a state school and find it difficult to cope, I learn something of the effect of the present recession which I would not gather from reading newspapers. It also tells me something about the harsh sides of an educational system, the strength and brilliance of which I had otherwise learned to appreciate through the university experiences of two of our children in London and Oxford.

Fortunately the part of my London life that is connected with my role as the German Ambassador's wife is no less fulfilling and intense. One of the chores which I enjoy is going once a week early in the morning to Covent Garden flower market to buy an armful of flowers for our home and social functions. It is wonderful to stroll through the large hall and see the variety of colours and blooms in changing seasons and under a London sky that seems ever the same. I also look up cookery books and old recipes and train our cook who lacks professional qualification. And this tends to add an element of surprise, sometimes tension, to our dinner parties and, incidentally, this has made me more critically aware of what I eat.

Naturally I had to take on some of the social duties connected with the Embassy, and try to get to know the newly arrived wives of Embassy employees, take an interest in Germans in old people's homes and those who need help, also organise our contributions to international bazaars for various charities. I sometimes wish I had more time for these matters.

I have found that our British guests are particularly appreciative of the furnishings in the ambassadorial residence, and I have tried to find out as much as I could about pictures, tapestries and furniture so as to be able to satisfy their curiosity. Different styles, historical periods, issues of architecture and city planning are lively discussed matters in this country, and that has spurred me on to learn about them. When we first moved in, I actually held a Canaletto on my lap for the first time in my life and without having to face the wrath of a museum attendant.

And how much more exciting it is to read the newspapers when you have met the people in the limelight socially. In London society it seems to me an advantage that some people live in small apartments during the week, but have magnificent houses in the country. My husband and I profit from the system in that we are sometimes invited out during the week to the theatre and the opera and, at weekends, into the country. I find it quite difficult to decide which I prefer!

My life has little either of boredom or routine. Even those famous ladies' luncheons and charity bazaars need not be tedious if taken in small doses. My everyday life can actually be compared to one of those many-layered German gateaux and allows for equal variety. Whether I ride in our official Embassy car or struggle through the London traffic on my bicycle, I am in my element. However, whether arranging flowers in the Embassy or trying to get ready for a dinner party and familiarising myself with the names on the guest list or learning more about the cultural life of which London has so much to offer - I endeavour, above all, to practice that admirable British flair for keeping a little distance which has also the beneficial effect of not taking oneself too seriously.